Authentic Love

Excerpt from Take Time for Him: Simple, Soulful Gospel Meditations to Ignite the Busy Person’s Spiritual Life  Get your own papercopy from Amazon!

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22nd Sunday of Ordinary Time

Readings for Sunday’s Liturgy

Meditation Reflection: Matthew 16:21-27

Peter loved Jesus. He left everything to follow Him. Peter put his whole heart into the mission and his courage and zeal expressed themselves in extraordinary ways. Moved by faith, Peter walked on water. With his heart open to the Holy Spirit, he boldly answered Jesus’ question to the disciples “Who do you say that I am?” by proclaiming that Jesus is the Christ and the Son of God.

Love inspires, emboldens, strengthens, and provides unique insights into the beloved. Like the love between a husband and wife, a mother or father and their children, a beloved brother or sister, or a dearest friend, love wells up inside and can’t help but express itself with exclamations of affection, physical closeness, and fierce protectiveness.

Due to our wounded, fallen nature however, our love can also be misdirected. In this Gospel passage, Peter’s love mixed with his pride and with his worldly understanding to embolden him in a way that undermined, rather than supported, Jesus. Our love needs conversion to be authentic and to be true to our beloved.  It requires ongoing formation in what is True and Good as God has revealed it, rather than as our emotions direct us or the culture. It requires practice as well, to break bad habits and form good ones, or to overcome personal weaknesses that hurt the relationship.

Peter loved Jesus and was honored to be given the keys to the kingdom just one chapter prior to this. However, his pride and ambition, together with his cultural assumptions about what that kingdom would look like, misdirected his love to preserving an earthly kingdom by preserving Jesus’ earthly life. Just when Jesus needed the support of His disciples the most, as His “Hour” of Redemptive suffering for all mankind approached, Peter pulled Him aside and tried to dissuade Him.

Like Peter, our love needs Christ’s grace and truth to be authentic. Consider the sentiment “I just want you to be happy.” It can motivate noble sacrifice, but it can also rationalize weakness. If we define happiness as merely earthly comfort, ease, security, and pleasure, we risk encouraging our beloved to turn from their cross rather than helping them carry it. Yet, in trying to save their life, we could actually cripple them.

Consider the paradox inherent in parenting. Kids need protection, nurturing, and comfort.  At the same time, to mature into adulthood, they also need to work through difficulties, setbacks, and pain. The temptation to remove every obstacle can undermine the maturation process, whereas supporting them through the struggle without necessarily removing it for them can help them grow. To know when to intervene and when to stand back is NOT easy! It requires the counsel of the Holy Spirit and the grace of fortitude. When Jesus’ life was threatened by King Herod, Mary and Joseph fled to Egypt to protect Him. When Jesus was scourged and crucified however, Mary stood by Him, feeling every pain with Him, but knew it was necessary for His mission.

In marriage, family life, and friendship, authentic love needs conversion. When we say, “I just want you to be happy,” we have to be honest about which kind of happiness we desire for them: worldly or Christian.  Jesus is clear,

Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Those we love will struggle with sin. It’s the battle of this life. Authentic love won’t condone the sin. Rather, it will strengthen a person to speak the truth in love and support the beloved through the pain of conversion because true life and true freedom is found in the Lord.

In the first reading for today (Jeremiah 20:7-9), the prophet Jeremiah exemplifies authentic love. His human nature desired comfort and to simply be liked. Nevertheless, his people had succumbed to habits of sin and needed to be corrected lest they die eternally from their destructive behavior and attitudes. He didn’t want to speak out anymore because every time he did, they met him with anger.

However, when he tried to remain silent, the truth welled up in him and he couldn’t hold it in any longer without suffering even greater pain. True love can’t stand to see sin hurting its beloved. Our friends and family need us to battle for their souls with the strength of prayer, God’s Truth, and the cross, not sentimentality. And we need those who love us to battle for our souls in the same way. To do this, we need to actively cooperate with the Holy Spirit that our love can be fully converted.  St. Paul described it well when he instructed:

“Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2

It will take time, effort, and support. However, we can be encouraged by Peter’s example. Peter’s conversion took time as well, but by the end of his life his love had become so perfect, that he accepted the cross and crucifixion for himself that he had once tried to dissuade Jesus from.

I’ll end with two quotes that I read often which give me hope:

Pope Francis quoting St. Augustine (January 19, 2016): “there is no saint without a past and no sinner without a future

St. Josemaria Escriva: “A saint is a sinner that keeps trying.”

Consider:

  • Reflect on Mary’s love for Jesus. Consider her fierce protection when He was young. Consider her fierce loyalty to His mission on the Cross, despite both of their suffering.
  • Consider the words “I just want you to be happy.”
    • Pray about what true happiness is, where it can be found, and how it can be attained.
  • When has Christian love required you to carry a cross?
    • Who supported you?  Who tried to dissuade you?
  • When have you had to stand by someone while they carried a cross?
    • In what ways were you tempted to encourage them to leave the cross?
    • How were you able to support them in their pain or struggle and make the burden easier?

Make a Resolution (Practical Application):

  • Do one thing each day for “the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.”
    • Spend 5 minutes with Scripture
    • Read a good Christian book
    • Listen to Christian podcasts
    • Visit with a Christian friend
  • Support a friend on their spiritual journey who is struggling with a sin or with a cross.
    • Pray and sacrifice for them; speak truth in love; visit them; encourage them with Scriptures of hope and resurrection after the Cross or the example of a saint or someone you know.

~ Written by Angela Jendro © 2019

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Following the Leader: Christian Discipleship and Leadership

Excerpt from Take Time for Him: Simple, Soulful Gospel Meditations to Ignite the Busy Person’s Spiritual Life  Get your own papercopy from Amazon!

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21st Sunday of Ordinary Time

Readings for Sunday’s Liturgy

Meditation Reflection: Gospel of Matthew 16: 13-20

Generally speaking, our culture loathes the word “authority.” It appears to undermine our values of autonomy, self- expression, independence, and freedom.  Moreover, the idea of monarch-rule seems archaic and undemocratic. In consequence, our cultural norms and assumptions can hinder our understanding and appreciation of the Kingdom of God.

God’s Chosen People first became a kingdom under Saul, then famously David. David’s authority however came from God. He was chosen by God and anointed king by God’s prophet Samuel. In addition, David’s success as a leader corresponded with his fidelity to the Lord.

The Kingdom of Israel served as a glimpse or foreshadowing of the Kingdom Jesus would establish. However Jesus, the New David, did not begin His reign by assigning authoritative positions to protect the physical security of His people, lands, and finances. Instead, He assigned authority to leaders He wished to protect the souls of His people, the Truth He came to reveal, and the path He opened for our salvation. These positions he assigned to Peter, the first pope and His steward/vicar on earth, and the twelve apostles and their successors the bishops.

The Pope, like David, is a human being. This means he will falter at times, sin, and struggle with human limitations. We must be careful however, not to project our cultural norm on our understanding of his role. Our leaders our voted upon to represent our views. They operate at a natural human level, with the responsibility to protect our physical security, rights, lands, and commerce. The Pope’s position, begun with Peter, has a different role. Christ chose Peter. Christ bestowed His authority upon Peter to be Christ’s representative, not the representative of popular opinion. Lastly, no matter what the pope’s natural gifts or limitations may be, the Holy Spirit empowered Peter and his successors to always be able to answer questions about the divinely revealed faith with certainty of truth by supernaturally empowering them to discern correctly answers about Christ. The first controversial question is recorded in Acts of the Apostles. The apostles held a council to address the question of whether Gentiles needed to be circumcised along with baptism or not. Peter was given the grace by Christ to know the answer was no to circumcision.

Moreover, the Pope is called to shepherd people on the way to salvation which means he also has the authority to make rules for His spiritual children that he believes will be important for their development. This resembles a family structure more so than a political one. I am grateful to God to live in our democracy. In my opinion, despite its flaws, it’s still the best, and most free, country in the world. Nevertheless, I don’t run my family like a democracy. If decisions were made by vote we would eat doughnuts every morning, live way outside our means, and discipline would devolve to mob rule.  Much to my children’s chagrin, our family is run as a monarchy. Though they push against the rules, we have much more peace, justice, and love as a result. In this monarchy, God is our king, and my husband and I are His stewards.

At times, my kids have accused me of being either overly strict or overly protective when I said no to something they wanted to do. To encourage me to soften, they would make life difficult for me, then add “no one really cares Mom, it’s not that big of a deal.” Even though I felt for them, and in a secular culture what they said was true, I also knew I had to hold the line because, at the end of the day, I would be held responsible before God.  So, I often respond to them, “I have to do what’s right for you, because it’s my responsibility and I will have to answer to God one day.” And when I fail to hold the line, and am a weak parent, I ask God for forgiveness and the grace to be stronger.

So, contrary to our cultural norms and assumptions, I have seemingly Medieval parenting methods to my children.  Yet, as parents we all know that raising kids to be mature adults is different than running a nation-state. Kids need us to exercise our authority, especially in decisions that they are too young to make. We are in a better position to discern what is safe from what is too risky, truth from lie, and wisdom from folly. Of course, unlike Christ we are not all-knowing, so oftentimes we need the Holy Spirit to guide us in our position and enable  us by His grace to make the right choices.

Discipleship means that Christ is our king. We can embrace this monarchy because our king is also our loving, self- sacrificing, and divine Savior.  As king, He chose to bestow His authority upon some of His subjects to govern for Him on earth and promised to safeguard it until the end of the world.

Upon Peter, and every pope thereafter, He bestowed the authority to say who Christ is, and gave them the supernatural ability to be correct. The role of pope is to preserve, protect, and promulgate the Deposit of Faith given by Christ. In addition, when confusion over Christ’s revelation occurs, for the sake of unity someone must be the authority that determines which response is correct and which is false. During the first councils of the early church the question of whether Jesus is God, Man, or both was a long, heated, argument. If determined as a vote, our doctrine would be that of Arius’ interpretation – Jesus was only a man but the highest possible one.  The pope recognized Athanasius’ response as the true one – that Jesus is both God and man.

In the vocation of marriage, Jesus bestows His authority on mothers and fathers over their children. Thus, as children we have an obligation to obey our parents. And as parents, we have the responsibility of exercising our authority in a Christian manner.  It’s not always easy.  When kids are fighting I would rather just yell “stop bickering” (which is never really effective), than get up, intervene, and if necessary, impose consequences for bad behavior. Crafting Christian rules takes time and effort, both of which are in short supply. Enforcing the rules with appropriate consequences means suffering the rebuffs and anger of resistant kids. As kids get older, knowing what decision to make in given circumstances becomes even more difficult.  They require even more prayer and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

Nevertheless, we can find peace and confidence in our divine monarch, Jesus Christ. He reigns in our souls with supernatural power and grace.  Despite our natural limitations, He transforms us into one Body, one family in God. His Holy Spirit guides us – enlightening our minds, strengthening our wills, and inflaming our hearts with love. Our unity in Christ can be seen visibly in the family and in the Church. Our trust is not in ourselves, but in Him who enables us to complete the mission He entrusted to us.

Consider:

  • To what extent does Jesus reign in your heart and in your life? When do you let Him lead, and when do you resist His commands?
  • Our culture tends to value being a leader over a follower. How does this influence our discipleship? Do we value being followers or wish only to lead?
  • In what ways has Christ appointed you His steward? In your vocation – who has He entrusted to your care? In your occupation – who or what has He entrusted to you and what fruit do you think He expects to see from it? In His Creation – what does He ask of you for its care?
  • How do you respond to the authority of Christ’s vicar on earth, the pope? Do you accept his guidance on matters of faith and morals, or do you resist? Is your faith strong enough to see not just the human, visible reality of the Church, but the divine, invisible reality as well? What has made this either easier or harder for you?
  • Consider the relationship between authority and unity. How are the two related and necessary?

Make a Resolution (Practical Application):

  • If there’s a teaching of the faith that you presently ignore, begin practicing it instead and try to learn more about why the Church teaches it.
  • Each morning look ahead at the day. Invite Christ to lead you in each aspect, and for the grace to follow. Even if you are called to lead others, let Christ lead you first.
    • Examples:
      • If you make a to-do list at work or home, prayerfully consider first how Christ would prioritize the items rather than how you want to prioritize them.
      • What expectations would Christ want to see in your family? Are there any that need greater implementation?
      • What expectations does Christ have for you at work? Do you honor Him by respectful, honest, and edifying language, free from vulgarity or slander? Do you honor Him in action through diligence in your work and mercy towards your co- workers?
  • Pray the Suscipe prayer by St. Ignatius or the Serenity Prayer.

~ Written by Angela Jendro © 2019

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Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone & Walking on Water

Excerpt frTake Time For Him Book coverom Take Time for Him: Simple, Soulful Gospel Meditations to Ignite the Busy Person’s Spiritual Life  Get your own papercopy from Amazon!

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19th Sunday of Ordinary Time

Readings for Sunday’s Liturgy

Meditation Reflection: Gospel of Matthew 14:22-33

Exhilaration, adventure, a leap of faith – we get brave and step out onto the water…outside our comfort zone. For a brief moment, his eyes fixed on Jesus, Peter did just that. Then, a gust of wind distracted him, and Peter’s gaze turned to the strength of the wind rather than the strength of the Lord. His faith sank and so did he.  Yet, as quickly as he had turned from the Lord, he turned right back. He immediately reached out to Christ for help.  Jesus did not delay, He caught Peter as soon as he asked. Jesus didn’t let Peter flounder in the water gasping for air as He lectured him. He cast no words of spite, no “I told you so”, or “that’s what you get for not believing in Me more.” Jesus came to reveal the Father’s love, and on this night He demonstrated the Lord’s compassionate mercy for our weak nature.

petersinking

Discipleship calls us beyond our comfort zone, and even beyond our natural limits. Yoked to Christ, He enables us to walk on water. Like Peter, we might step out of the boat in total confidence in our Lord. Once on the water however, we become fearful as we realize our total dependence on His supernatural help. It’s much easier to have faith floating on the water in a boat, than walking on water barefoot.

I remember the excitement of getting my first teaching job, and the enthusiasm of teaching students about God. Then, the first day of class arrived and panic struck. “Yikes!” I thought, “How I am I going to get through the day? What I am I going to say for a whole class period?! What if a student misbehaves? What if I’m a terrible teacher?…”  I also remember the joy of holding my first child in my arms the day he was born. It was absolutely surreal. Two days later the nurse walked us out to the car and waved goodbye.  As we put my son in the car seat and drove away anxiety erupted, “They’re just letting us take him?!  We don’t know anything! What if I’m a terrible mother? What if I say or do something that scars him for life?!…” Lastly, when I do speaking engagements or workshops, I’m exhilarated at the opportunity to share the joy of God’s saving love with others. A half hour before the talk however, worried thoughts begin to percolate up, “Why did I agree to do this? It would be far more comfortable to be at home watching Netflix. What if I fail? What if everyone is bored? Who am I to do this, I’m a sinner like everyone else?”  Like Peter, I begin to sink but then I cry out to the Jesus. He reminds me that I teach, mother, and speak because He has called me to.  He assures me that though I am not worthy, He is, and He is with me. He also pushes me by filling my heart with so much gratitude for His love in my life that I can’t resist sharing it with others.

The challenge of discipleship is living at a level only sustainable if Christ and His grace is real. It requires taking a risk, so much so that if Christ is not real, you would be at a loss. Consider how many times God tells us in Scripture to be not afraid. Pope St. John Paul II chose these words for his first statement as Pope, knowing how much we fear as we look around at the dangers that surround us.

When I begin to sink in fear a few verses come to mind that strengthen me.  First, I think of 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

“Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.”

St. Paul felt too weak to face a challenge on his own. Rather than remove the difficulty, Jesus promised to provide the strength. St. Paul realized therefore, that the weaker he is, the more God’s power must be at work in him to accomplish God’s will. He moved from anxiety to total confidence, and writes in his letter to the Philippians 4:13,

“I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me”

We can trust Jesus to come through for us.  We can answer His call, even if it means going beyond our natural limits. When we struggle to take that leap of faith beyond our comfort zone, Christ urges us to simply reach out and He will be there for us as He was for Peter.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” Matthew 7:7

Ask, seek, knock, and you just might walk on water.

Consider:

  • How has following Christ stretched you beyond what you expected?
  • When has Christ made an endeavor more fruitful than it would have been by your own merits?
  • Have you ever felt like Peter, walking on water, in awe of Christ’s divine power?
  • Have you ever faltered because of fear, worry, or anxiety?
  • What Scripture verses or memories reassure you of Christ’s aid?
  • Is Christ calling you to something outside your comfort zone right now? What holds you back? What inspires you forward?

Make a Resolution (Practical Application):

  • Take one risk each day for your faith.
    • Ideas: Inviting your spouse to pray together, praying as a family, saying “God bless” to someone on the phone or a at work, speaking up when someone is criticizing the Church or using God’s name in vain, sharing your faith with someone in need of comfort, going to the Sacrament of Confession, responding to God’s call in your vocation or job…

~ Written by Angela Jendro © 2019

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